carnagecarnival: (OOC: Someone got his goat)
The Initiate Fraysong ♑ (Young GHB) ([personal profile] carnagecarnival) wrote in [community profile] thearena2015-02-14 08:44 pm

Come away little lamb come away to the water, to the arms that are waiting only for you

Who| Initiate, Sam, and the Psiioniic
What| Initiate doesn't find the sea monster he was looking for. Friends come watch him make stupid decisions. 
Where| At the lake, in an ice cave of the glacier
When| later week 3, post Valentines
WARNINGS| Mutilation, limb removal, gore referencing, self harm, self-surgeries, references to other instances of this.

He moves along the riverside, hunting by the far ends in the weeks early and making on closer to the source. Part of him his hesitant, fearful. Another part is hopeful. Either way, he doesn't find the ocean. Not here. And so his breath is both relief and regret. 

The water sparkles beautifully. By day, he can imagine it's green and blue and all beautiful mid-blood colors, stubbornly striking. But here and now, it's indigo, belonging to him like he spilled the blood himself to form it.  He can see it there in the distance, with just the slightest bit of dusk light hanging in the streaked sky, reminding him of the colors in the Alternian night while leaving enough dark for him to be comfortable. It's cold as fuck, but he's got all manner of thing as to see him warm, not mention keeping a move on. 

It's hard to do that though, when he spots that shadow on the water. His breath catches and a fear settles in him. They wouldn't. But they would. They'd done it before. They brought his Da from the motherfucking ocean as to be watched over by him. They brought his past self as Tribute, they sent in his descendant as a goddamn daywalker copy to taunt him while he tried to keep the kid alive for naught, they made a crowning what showed of the execution what as he called for. They would absolutely bring his Da in the arena. And if it was his Da, he was the only one what could think to stop it. 

If he could only get around to thinking that. 

He runs on forward, going and going until he's something close to that dark spot in the lake. He stands just at the icey shore's edge, unwilling to go no further.

"...Da?" He calls out, apprehensive. "THAT YOU?" 

The water surges up. Would he be this afraid if he was sure it was Da? Probably. Probably more so.

The water sprays down and a massive head shows itself with great needle teeth bared. But there ain't no horns. This thing ain't a goat. It's pissed anyway. 

Those jaws lunge down and he dives out of the way, scrambling fast, but he's too close and teeth sink in and the next he knows he's being hauled up by the leg of his pants. He doesn't think, just works on instinct, swinging so the cloth tears and he's freefalling to the beast's neck, claws out to catch himself. The flesh is thick and don't even bleed, but it might if he's being their when the beast takes a snap at him. He's a fast swimmer, but not as fast as thing will be. He waits. Those teeth come at him, he ducks under, slashes, and dives, kicking off from the head to get that start. 

Don't look back. Don't panic. Don't think. Swim, go, go. 

He breaks the surface but it ain't being no where near the land. His claws catch in ice and just in time as the thing smashes against the great ice-block's side. He braces it, breathing hard, trying desperate to keep his grip. He hears the water rush behind him as the beast rises up again, preparing to strike. He climbs, fast as all he can, fast like it's his go on the fucking grief trapeze and someone set the ropes on fire.

Messiahs bless him. Messiahs give him an alcove in the ice, a small bit of cave leading inward. He dives for it, sliding and crawling inside, going as far as he can go, well out of the creature's reach. He's cold. He's so fucking cold. He's not sure he's ever been so cold in his whole damn life and he is  of cold blood. He thinks to curl up right there, instinctive, but the ice quakes with the force of the beast's ramming and pieces fall from the ceiling. He stands up fast, making to run. He can see an opening ahead, a way out as to get to land. But the ice quakes again and he slips, landing hard enough to bruise. There's a terrible cracking noise, and all at once, as he turns to watch what is surely his death, a great mass of ice collapses on him. He hears the crunch of his leg just a second before he feels it. His howl echoes off the walls and up in his ears. 

There's blood on him. It's the first thing he sees when he finally manages to get himself something close to upright again. The beast has stopped its attack. Maybe the gamemakers were satisfied with the fact that his leg was almost surely ruined. It's worse than that. He's stuck. He tries to pull, tries to shove, but the ice ain't moving and it ain't giving him his leg back.  He can't stay here. He'll freeze before the night is done. If the beasts don't find him first. His hands hover useless around his leg, like he can will it to healing. Idea occurs, what has him twisting as best he can for the soaked backpack on him, opening it up for the hunting knife what he knows is in there. He brings out and brings it to the ice wall.

Then stops. It's too hard. He won't be able to chip this away. Even if he does, only more ice will come down in its place. He has to get out with moving nothing. He has to...

He glances back at to that exit way to land. He looks to knife, then his leg. The knife goes down, so he can pull out that freezing blanket and shove the corner of it in his mouth, to protect his tongue from any biting down involuntary. He didn't trust himself with that. The knife is back in shaking hand. He can do this. If he could do such things to himself on Beforus he sure as fuck could as Alternian.

He starts turning ice to indigo.
sizeofyourbaggage: (oh because that's not upsetting)

[personal profile] sizeofyourbaggage 2015-02-26 01:51 am (UTC)(link)
Most of his attention is on Kurloz, but he can still see the way Psiioniic reacts to Kurloz saying sir, to what Sam is figuring is a holdover of the Avoxing. They haven't talked about that much, not when there was other stuff that was a little more pressing. He can't ask either of them about it right now, but he does file it away for later. For when they're back in the Capitol, and there aren't quite as many cameras focused on them.

Now, he curls his hand tighter around his friend's, squeezing a little.

"Kurloz." Sam'd said he'd use Initiate unless it was just the two of them, but it's out before he can help it. If the 'sir' is any indicator, he's having trouble hanging onto himself. They might need him floaty and out of it to finish up, but they don't need him lost. "We need you here, brother, we just need you to stay here, and to stay you. Take Psiioniic's advice, okay? Count backwards from a hundred, count out loud."
biiowiired: please do not touch helmsman system (omg)

[personal profile] biiowiired 2015-02-26 04:17 am (UTC)(link)
His hand was smooshed together with Sam's in an awkward clammy highblood hold. He dearly wanted to yank his hand away, and shot a questioning look at Sam, who was also caught with him in the same grip. Psii associated that too-warm skin only with Signless, and was constantly jarred when humans exhibited the same touch, not to mention bleeding almost the same bright red. Humans were weird, but some of them were alright.

Psii didn't realize Initiate was quoting his scriptures at first, assuming it to be a song or some random poetry. He was too distracted by his hand being held captive. When the memory clicked into place and he belatedly realized, he hissed and violently pulled his hand away, skidding on the ice as he pushed himself back with his feet.

"Don't you quote that clown shit at me! There'th no one to cull here! They're all dead! Firtht they came for the maroonbloodth, then they came for the bronzebloodth, then they came for me, and there'th no one left, thtop it! Thtop it!!"

The smell of blood was already in the cave, inescapable. It didn't take much to remember the bodies of friends strung up next to paintings and scriptures written in their blood, or the impromptu slave "courtblocks" where one Subjugglator was judge, jury, and executioner. Psii shook, his back burning as the whip seared its memory on him again.
sizeofyourbaggage: (well shit)

[personal profile] sizeofyourbaggage 2015-02-27 05:47 am (UTC)(link)
Sam catches the look Psiioniic gives him, but he just gives a one-shouldered shrug. He's been in more awkward situations, if Kurloz wants them all to hold hands to try to get through this, then Sam'll sit there and hold hands with two trolls.

He wonder when this became his life, but he's still pretty sure he can trace it back to the morning he met Steve.

Some of the slightly frantic tension drains out of him when Kurloz starts laughing and turns a little whiny. He's pretty sure they're safer, if he's refusing commands, and this is a kind of drugged up that Sam's more than familiar with. He chuckles a little. "Okay, brother, you don't gotta count if you don't want to."

He's about to settle into gentle teasing, maybe slowly pull his hand away and go back to finishing his work, when Psiioniic yanks his hand away and starts having a little bit of a freak out. Sam's startled, but he automatically tunes in to what Psiioniic's saying, even before the rest of him catches up. And he's real damn glad Kurloz had already told him about his preaching, because it means he's on a little bit firmer ground here than he might otherwise be.

"Hey, man, nobody here is gonna cull you." Sam twists a little, turning around so he can angle himself towards Psiioniic and kind of block Kurloz from view, as much as possible. He keeps his hold on one of Kurloz's hand, which, well. Means he hopes like hell no one is about to get violent, because he's currently in an incredibly shitt position to defend himself. "Look at me, okay? Tell me what's happening."
biiowiired: ii wiill punch your face wiith my face (grr side)

[personal profile] biiowiired 2015-02-27 10:59 am (UTC)(link)
Psii was glad he'd skidded away, if Initiate was going to reach after him like that. Doubly glad that his injury prevented him from moving faster. If he'd grabbed him, Psii didn't know what he'd do. Psii realized too late his hand was on his knife. He let go.

"I'm helping a member of a math-murdering cult ith what'th happening!" he immediately shot back at Sam. He wasn't so freaked out that he forgot the present. The past simply had its way of coloring everything here wrong. It helped though, Sam being an anchor. He thought of Dolorosa. He missed her. Dolorosa, who would be enslaved like himself. Signless told him at the Crowning. His eyes stung.

"Like the liveth of everyone who thuffered don't even matter, jutht a bunch of pithbloodth, can't even hold a candle to one thpethial Subjugglator having a bad night."

His voice shook, but he couldn't weep for the dead. He never felt safe enough to truly come undone. Leaving the cave was tempting, it really was. He'd be less emotionally compromised, at the very least. He thought of running outside, turning his face up to the sky, and pleading at Signless, who surely must be watching, telling him that he'd tried, but he just couldn't do this.

What a loser.

"Fuck you," he spat at Initiate with as much venom he could. "Don't tell me where to go. I'm helping Sam, and you can't do shit about it. Bite me."

Other than outright killing, doing what Signless would ask was the best way Psii knew to spite highbloods. It didn't mean he had to like helping Initiate, but it was either that or telling Signless to his face that he'd let his moirail die if given the chance. Psii already jumped hoops for that nubby idiot.
sizeofyourbaggage: (do what you have to do)

[personal profile] sizeofyourbaggage 2015-02-28 01:41 am (UTC)(link)
Former member, Sam wants to say, except. Except that's complicated, Sam knows that much from his talks with Kurloz, and it's not Sam's place to say something like that. It's one thing for Sam to be willing to stick by Kurloz even with his past, it's another for him to try to tell someone who might've experienced it something like that.

There's more than one reason that Sam'd held on to Kurloz's hand, and he's really glad he did when Kurloz starts trying to move after him. Sam keeps holding on tight, both to give his friend something to hang on to, and to keep him from moving.

"Of course they matter. Helping him right now doesn't make what they went through any less significant, it's not a betrayal to them because you're helping someone who was on the other side, okay? It just makes you better." At least Sam has some experience there, though he's a little gentler here than the times he'd had to snap something like that out to a soldier who tried to tell him not to give medical attention to someone just because they weren't a US citizen.

He untwists himself a little, now that he's sure Psiioniic isn't caught up in flashbacks, or whatever the Alternian equivalant is.

"And don't even try to tell me something like that. If you think I'd consider leaving you alone like this for even a second, man, you're gonna be severely disappointed. What part of 'I got your back' did you not understand?"
biiowiired: oh iit2 on now (grr)

[personal profile] biiowiired 2015-03-07 09:31 am (UTC)(link)
It seemed counter-intuitive to give Initiate a bone, a weakness in the foundation for him to smash. But facts were facts, and Signless would tell the truth as well. Psii's voice came out thin and dry.

"I don't remember being hith. It hathn't happened to me yet I think. I don't have a claim, tho thtop talking about it. The whole country can hear, you fucking idiot. And I—I don't want to think about it. I jutht want to help SS'th moirail and get the hell out of here."

Where "here" was exactly—the cave, the arena, the country—he didn't know. In times of danger, Psii didn't want to think about quadrants of all things, least of all the quadrant that gave Psii the most grief. It was hard to have feelings jams in cramped slave quarters. Even after he left that behind, there was still a whole lot of baggage he and a potential moirail would have to wade through.

"And you thtill can't tell me what to do. Maybe I'm tired of killing. Maybe I'm tired of leaving otherth behind to die. Maybe you should go fuck yourthelf."

On that classy note, Psii hauled himself over to the kit to look for bandages. They were going to need quite a few.
sizeofyourbaggage: (if you eat that sort of thing)

[personal profile] sizeofyourbaggage 2015-03-12 09:01 pm (UTC)(link)
And then Kurloz starts talking, and Sam kind of wants to bury his face in his hands, because really, is this really the time for all of that? Apparently it is, apparently Kurloz is going to try to have a heart to heart while he's drugged up and recently stitched and still not bandaged but no, he's going to try to sit up anyway and most likely make Sam's job harder.

Thanks, man.

And yet. And yet Sam stays quiet, doesn't move, doesn't do anything to try to interrupt any of that. If their situations had been reversed, if it'd been Riley who showed up here after being gone so long, just younger and with no memory of what they meant to each other - Sam can't honestly say he wouldn't be doing the same thing right now.

"Not accepting that until I know what you're apologizing for," he mutters when Kurloz tells him he's sorry.

He finishes up his stitching, cutting one or two that'd gotten pulled in all the movement and redoing them, then glances over at Psiioniic at the kit. "Hand me some of those?"
biiowiired: excu2e you (arms crossed)

[personal profile] biiowiired 2015-03-19 06:26 am (UTC)(link)
Capitol security might know all there was to know about Tributes, but Psii would rather not give the paparazzi or the general public more fodder about his quadrant life if he could help it. Instead of raising his voice, he tried taking the calm route Sam had fought for.

"Thure, but no promitheth. You're thuppothed to be rethting whether we talk or not."

A highblood who couldn't take care of themselves, who had to rely on help, was frowned upon. But Psii followed Signless's philosophy of helping others. Even now he quickly handed Sam the things he needed without a fuss. He couldn't just walk away, or worse, give the Gamemakers what they wanted and finish Initiate off. It was easier to kill than to save. It was easier to die than to live. His visions showed him that. What was the point of trying to take easy ways out when calamity wove into his life anyway?

"It'th that thtupid highblood thtrength complexth that thayth you're not allowed to acthept help. You know your moirail doethn't buy that hoofbeathtshit. Even if you're telling uth to go jutht becauthe you don't like yourthelf, well, join the club." He gave a short, bitter laugh. "No point driving uth off for that reathon either."
sizeofyourbaggage: (how is this my life)

[personal profile] sizeofyourbaggage 2015-03-22 03:06 am (UTC)(link)
Sam's lip curls a little when Kurloz says he should be off looking after his own, resisting the urge to sigh in exasperation only because he's too busy bandaging what's left of his leg with gentle hands. "The hell do you think I'm doing, huh? If I wanted to be anywhere else I would be."

He listens to what Psiioniic’s saying as he works, tucking all of that away. If they were alone, Sam’d have a lot more to say about all of that - but then, if they were alone, Sam probably wouldn’t be hearing any of this. Another thing on his list for later, then.

When Psiioniic stops, Sam takes his turn talking. And veers completely away from anything they’d been saying before, because he’s had enough of trying to split his attention between emotional shit and physically patching someone up.

“You see those giant ass tiger beast things they had earlier in the arena? Ran into one of ‘em when it decided Bucky looked like a great snack. It got real fucking pissed at me when I stabbed it, and then Bucky’s dumbass decided to jump on its goddamn back. Shoulda seen him, man, no idea how he managed to stay on it so long with the way it was snarling and twisting around.”
biiowiired: excu2e you (arms crossed)

[personal profile] biiowiired 2015-03-30 08:13 am (UTC)(link)
Psii was never much of a storyteller. He was too incensed anyway, too furious that a clown kept reminding him over and over that they had been moirails. He stood with a scowl and walked to the nearest wall, leaning his shoulder on it and folding his arms tight. Sam—and humans in general—was better at chatty mollifying. Trolls didn't take nearly as many pains to play nice.

"If you get back. And you didn't exthactly help your chantheth today."

Psii always said "if." The future was inscrutable except to those who could see it. Even then, his visions raised as many questions as they answered. What was the point of deluding oneself with little lying words? Initiate and Signless had that in common. They had to fool themselves into thinking the future would be brighter, as if their wills alone could change it.
sizeofyourbaggage: (if you eat that sort of thing)

[personal profile] sizeofyourbaggage 2015-04-05 04:13 am (UTC)(link)
Sam keeps watch on Psiioniic, out of the corner of his eye - in an entirely different way than he had at the start of this. He’d wonder at how he’d gone from viewing Psiioniic as a potential threat to keeping an eye on him in case he needs something, but that’s pretty much just his life lately.

He gives a little chuckle at Kurloz’s comment about watching it later, dry and only partly amused. “Just cut it off after the thing dies, unless you want a show of me and Buck sewing up my leg.”

His jaw tightens a little when Psiioniic corrects that to if, but he doesn’t say anything. He can’t say anything, really - this is only Sam’s second arena, and any time he talks about when they’re back in the Capitol is still half bravado. He hasn’t quite convinced himself everyone will come back.

Instead, he focuses on finishing up bandaging what’s left of Kurloz’s leg, wrapping gauze around it neat and tying it off. “You’re good, man, all done.”
biiowiired: frowniing ii2 2exy dont let anyone tell you otherwii2e (frown)

[personal profile] biiowiired 2015-04-12 07:23 am (UTC)(link)
"I'm not thure entertainment ith the only factor they uthe when dethiding whether to bring people back. Don't die now anyway, or all thith will have been for nothing."

Perhaps he should lecture the both of them on how the future usually turned out to be shittier than expected; he was a prophet after all. Or perhaps he should just keep quiet and plan his next move. They would need warmth and to replenish their food supplies. Survival in an arena didn't leave much time for contemplation.